


Meaningless Conjecture

by kagacuties



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Light-Hearted, happy android fluffies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 00:18:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10978413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagacuties/pseuds/kagacuties
Summary: Unfortunately for 2B, 6O and 9S discover the mystical properties of old-world personality quizzes.





	Meaningless Conjecture

 

6O is plopped on the floor of 2B's room, pouting and refusing to move despite 2B's requests. "Please, 2B, just one quiz? I bet your results will be spectacular!"  
  
2B just sits at the edge of her bed, faltering, struggling to come up with a polite way to tell her operator that, no, she doesn't see a purpose in those silly superstitions—  
  
Then there's a knock on the door, and the two girls turn to find 9S standing at the entrance. His gaze is cast downward, a bashful expression plastered to his face. "Hey, 2B, sorry for barging in, but the commander wanted me to tell you—Oh, hi 6O. How are you doing?"  
  
6O ignores his greeting, instead pointing an accusatory finger in 2B's direction. "9S! Tell 2B to take a personality quiz with me!"  
  
"Er...what?"  
  
2B is thankful for 9S's interruption. "What did the commander need me to know?"  
  
"Oh, um, we're to return to the surface in nine hours, so make sure you get some rest soon." He wanders over to 6O, peering at the holographic screen she's pulled up in front of her. "Anyway, what's this about a 'personality quiz'...?"  
  
The operator beams at his interest. "They're an old-world tradition! Humans used to take them to learn more about their inner desires, and even predict the future. A bunch of operators have been making their own, recently. You answer questions to fit your personality, and this super complex algorithm calculates your result—"  
  
9S leans closer to the screen, running his hand across the template to reveal code. "Complex algorithm? This is just addition."  
  
"Shush."  
  
2B speaks up. "I should get some sleep soon."  
  
The two androids don't seem to hear her. 6O puffs out her cheeks. "I've been trying to get 2B to take some with me, but she won't listen! I want to know what results she gets."  
  
"Hm." 9S settles cross-legged on 2B's floor, and suddenly a screen flicks to life in front of her. 2B glances wearily at 9S. "C'mon 2B, it'll be fun! You don't want to let 6O down, do you?"  
  
Well, no, but... "It's just...meaningless conjecture..."  
  
He laughs. "Man, you're so serious all the time, 2B. Please?"  
  
6O joins in. "Pretty please?"  
  
"...Alright. But just one."

 

* * *

  
  
The quiz is just as pointless as 2B expects. It's titled, "If you were a human's pet, which animal would you be?" and contains odd questions, such as:  
  
_If you were able to eat, which human delicacy would be your favorite?_  
_a) carrots!_  
_b) fish!_  
_c) bacon!_  
_d) berries!_  
  
The question is incredibly irrational, and 2B can't help but feel mildly overwhelmed. "How am I supposed to answer this?"  
  
6O is quick to respond. "You use your imagination, of course!"  
  
9S follows up with an explanation that makes slightly more sense. "Just choose whatever looks good."  
  
2B stares at the options a bit longer, before hesitantly placing a finger over 'fish!'  
  
When the three androids finish the quiz, 6O laces her fingers together, eyes gleaming. "I got a bunny! I love bunnies!"  
  
9S seems pleased by his results, as well. "I'm a dog, apparently."  
  
2B isn't entirely sure what to make of hers. "I'm...a cat? What is that?"  
  
"Hm, let's see if I can find a picture in the archives." 9S fiddles with his screen for a few seconds, before pictures of this 'cat' pops across their screens.  
  
6O squeals. "It's sooo cuuute! It fits 2B."  
  
9S is nodding. "Yep, definitely fits her."  
  
2B isn't entirely sure what to think of that.

 

* * *

 

Somehow, the two androids rope her into doing another personality quiz titled, "Which old-world celebrity are you?" This time, 2B is accustomed to the strange style of these questions, and is able to fill it out faster.  
  
That is, until she reaches another nonsensical question; " _'If you wore clothes a color other than black, which color would look best on you?'_ How should I know this?"  
  
9S pipes up immediately. "Red."  
  
"What?" 6O looks stunned. "Obviously _not_. 2B's color is totally blue!"  
  
"No way. She'd look really pretty in red."  
  
"9S, do you have _eyes_? She's defintely the type to wear cooler colors, not warm—"  
  
2B watches as the two androids bicker on the floor beneath her, until she interrupts. "Is this something you've both thought about before?"  
  
They both go silent.  
  
2B's finger hovers over the option 'purple.' The quiz redirects her to the results.  
  
"I'm...Beyoncé? Who is that?"

 

* * *

 

"Now, for the final, most important quiz..." 6O makes an exaggerated motion, before pulling up a new screen.  
  
9S reads it aloud. " _'What kind of love will you find?'_ Um..."  
  
2B frowns. "But emotions are prohibited."  
  
6O laughs. "You're so silly, 2B, it's just for fun. Besides, aren't you curious?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
9S and 6O convince her to take the quiz, anyway. Even when the results roll in, the room remains strangely silent.  
  
6O is the first to speak. "So...9S, what did you get?"  
  
He's physically wilting. "Er... _'Forever Alone'_..."  
  
The operator laughs awkwardly. "Well, mine's not much better. I got _'Unrequited Feelings'_..."  
  
There's a brief silence, before 6O speaks up again. "What did you get, 2B?"  
  
" _'True Love.'"_  
  
"What?" Both of them are on their feet, leaning over 2B's bed for a glimpse at her screen.  
  
"No way!"  
  
"You're so lucky, 2B!"  
  
"I wish I were you!"  
  
"You...You both are taking this too seriously..."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> just a cute scene I thought of after trying to write something more serious
> 
> everybody loves 2B


End file.
